Wednesday 29 April 2015

When Becoming a Mother Almost Didn't Happen To Me

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A few weeks ago, I chatted with a young acquaintance who confessed, "The world is getting harsher. Economies will crumble into nothingness. I don't want to have children only to burden them with all this. But then again, I'm only 16."

That last sentence was a caveat. It halted me in my tracks from offering her an alternative perspective on motherhood, which I am privileged to enjoy at present. Indeed, our priorities change as we mature through life. Never say never.

Although I have always been interested in becoming a parent, as an ambitious 20-something, setting up a family wasn't high on my agenda then. I felt it was the phase of life where all focus should be on chasing my academic and career ambitions. I had a whole life ahead of me, motherhood could wait. Or so I thought.

A decade later, when I felt ready and it didn't happen, I grew increasingly impatient and antsy. It didn't help that the medical folks and literature I consulted sang the same tune: the chances of naturally conceiving a child diminish as a woman ages. It hit me loud and clear like an annoying siren that wouldn't cease to deafen. I blamed myself for delaying my own chances at reproduction. Amidst the panic and desperation, I prayed incessantly often waking up in the last third of the night for Tahajjud and other sunnah prayers, escalating my earnest supplications to the Almighty that He blessed me even if it's just with one offspring.

My prayer was finally answered, not in the way I wanted but in the manner I needed, for the Creator knows best. Suffice to say, I was put to a formidable and life changing test. A test that could either crush me into a complete failure or toughen me up to remain steadfast in my prayer and true to my motherhood ambition. I chose the latter and the rest as they say, is history.

To some people, conceiving a child comes easily, while to others it takes a considerable amount of effort, sometimes even having to overcome major obstacles to get there, like I did. Either way, I regard children as God's precious gift in more ways than one. Sure, I would love to have a few but for now I have been blessed with a little girl who I really adore. For that, I am eternally grateful to God. My life as a mother, nurturer, carer, teacher, supporter, adviser and more towards this little person has just begun three years ago. I pray daily for divine guidance that I will continue to excel in these roles just as how I have tried my best in my other previous capacities.

We all know that life isn't always smooth sailing and we don't always get to fulfill our heart's desire. What has kept me going every time is the belief that, "Verily, with every difficulty comes ease." (Quran 94:5).


  1. MashaaAllah great post! Just reminds how to never take any of the great blessings that Allah give us for granted especially our children.

  2. Alhamdulillah, thank you for your very encouraging comments, Sister Um Ibrahim!